A few thoughts on self-trust, & overthinking
The first new moon of the year is on Sunday, and it’s in Capricorn. I love Capricorn energy, probably because I have a lot of fire and water in my chart—I find that I have to intentionally work with earth energy to feel more balanced.
If you find yourself second-guessing your decisions or your abilities as we kick off this new year, this new moon is a great time to reset yourself in grounded, self-assured energy.
Setting goals with this new moon will be supportive, as it gives us a framework using Capricorn’s organized, ambitious, achievement-focused energy to work with.
As someone who used to second guess everything, I get it. And I want to share a little bit about why this happens so you can begin to orient yourself to more self-trust in 2026.
This is extremely common, especially for aspiring or new business owners, and there is nothing wrong with you if this happens to you.
Our culture is a bit extra these days with giving us so much information, too many options, and allll the opinions. This can contribute to a strong sense of, which one do I choose? what if I choose the wrong path?
I don’t know about you, but I used to get overwhelmed trying to figure out what thoughts, ideas, or beliefs were mine and what was just a culmination of ideas that I had absorbed from social media or other sources (don’t get me wrong, I love learning new information, but it can be empowering to understand your own internal compass).
I learned to sift through all the noise and build self-trust by defining and living in my values, and it’s easier to do than you might think.
This is not a “this is exactly why this is happening” type of thing, it also takes self-trust to figure out.
I don’t have all the answers, and you know yourself best, but I hope that by sharing some of this information it can help you start to peel back the layers to guide you to making confident decisions with more ease.
Second-guessing and overthinking is complex, as it can happen for various reasons. Including but not limited to:
Past experiences creating the expectation that you can’t trust your decisions
A habit or pattern of self-abandonment (saying yes when you want to say no, over-giving to be liked or feel worthy, not speaking up to avoid conflict, etc.)
Too much information or too many choices
A lack of self-trust (shows up as not trusting that you will figure it out if things go “wrong” or if something happens that you can’t predict)
Learning to outsource your inner knowing early on
A pattern or habit of seeking external validation and approval (when becoming a business owner and you don’t have external validation from a boss or manager, this can feel especially challenging!)
Trauma or deeply impactful experiences (therapy is an amazing support tool when this is the case)
And more.
At its core, it’s a coping strategy. The tendency to overthink things and second-guess yourself likely became a default because at some time, over time, it was a strategy that worked. Give yourself some grace, because it was likely something that you needed to feel safe in uncertainty.
But the good news is, you likely don’t need it anymore, and it’s possible to shift this behavior with practice.
Here is a framework I use with my clients:
Step 1: Define your values
Step 2: Start living by your values (start with small choices then build to bigger ones)
Step 3: Get clear on your priorities
Step 4: Set and uphold boundaries (with compassion and compromise) that protect your priorities and your peace (I recommend starting with safe relationships)
Step 5: Continue to explore the not-so-supportive narratives and stories that “run the show” and intentionally change those narratives.
This happens in small moments by catching yourself overthinking, and choosing a different thought, and repeating the process.
For example, I used to lay in bed at night ruminating about everything in my business that I needed to do. I would think of every conversation, every idea, every Instagram post, every task that needed to be done. This loop would go on at 3x speed in my head for hours, and it was exhausting. I lost sleep, which if you know me, is catastrophic lol I do not function well without quality sleep.
Then I realized, if I can overthink like this, I can choose to lay here repeating a mantra to myself instead.
So, I created a mantra to “replace” the overthinking with. Then I would lay there and repeat the mantra to myself whenever overthinking started. Whenever I got back to overthinking (this is inevitable), I would catch myself, take a few deep breaths, and start my mantra again.
It didn’t take long for my thoughts to start defaulting to the mantra when I lay my head on the pillow. I still use mantras to fall asleep, every single night. I often fall asleep much faster now—usually within about 15 minutes.
This is my personal experience, and results may vary. There are a lot of other tools and approaches that may work better for you, I encourage you to explore and experiment!
Our brains are very adaptable when we are intentional, and with patience and continued effort, you can free yourself (mostly, you’re human!) of the pattern of over thinking.
The more you practice, the easier it gets.
Here’s to 2026 being the year of Self-Trust,
xo Courtney
