Overthinking Kept Me Safe, Until It Didn't
I recently had a late-night bout of overthinking, and it got me thinking (lol) about how much I used to live there.
There was a time when my brain never really shut off. I’d replay conversations, run through every possible scenario, and second-guess decisions both before and after I made them. At the time, it felt normal—like this was just how my mind worked. It had been that way my whole life, after all, I had never given it a second thought.
After I stopped drinking, it became really apparent, annoying even. And honestly, kind of painful.
My intuition was trying to tell me, “this isn’t normal, something is off here” but I didn’t know how to listen to it, and I no longer used the tool that had worked so well to shut it up (alcohol).
After starting my business, I knew I needed to do something about it. I was exhausted from being constantly mentally busy, and deep down I knew this tendency was keeping me stuck.
I wasn’t moving forward the way I wanted to, even though I cared deeply about what I was building.
I stayed stuck in busy work, like rewriting my website copy a million times, posting to Instagram and overthinking what people would think (then *panic delete*), re-designing my offers, and doing anything under the sun to avoid the work that would actually create momentum.
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What changed things for me was learning that overthinking wasn’t a character flaw, there wasn’t something “wrong” with me—it was a coping strategy. Maladaptive, sure. But it had served me at some point in my life.
Early on, my nervous system had learned that anticipating what might go wrong would make difficult moments feel easier to handle. If I stayed in my head, I could feel prepared for uncertainty and disappointment. Thinking became a way to stay ahead of potential discomfort.
I had already thought of the worst possible scenario, many times, which I know now means I lived it, many times (our subconscious can’t really tell the difference between real or imagined events when pictured vividly).
When the actual outcome happened, it was often far better than what I had imagined, re-enforcing that overthinking was a positive strategy. It also made me believe that even if the worst did happen, I had a plan.
And to be clear: this strategy worked in childhood. It helped me survive situations where unpredictability was very real.
But the truth was, I didn’t actually need that coping mechanism anymore.
My life looked completely different, but the habit had stuck around. And instead of protecting me, it started to slow me down—especially in my business. Overthinking gave me the illusion that I was being productive, when really, it was just keeping me stuck.
What I needed wasn’t more analysis, I needed to feel comfortable enough in my nervous system to take messy, imperfect action.
Understanding why I overthink completely changed my relationship with it.
I stopped beating myself up and came up with strategies to rewire my brain’s pathways (mantras are my fav).
I leaned into learning how to build self-trust instead of putting pressure on myself to have it all figured out before taking action. This allowed me to start making decisions from a grounded place instead of from fear.
I’m not perfect. I still catch myself slipping into my head sometimes. But I have tools to course-correct. This shift has fundamentally changed how I think about my business and how I approach challenges.
If you tend to overthink or second-guess yourself, you’re not alone. I’ve been there. And for me, building self-trust was what helped me move out of my head and into action.
If you’re feeling stuck second-guessing yourself or your decisions, click here for 3 journal prompts designed to help you unlock deeper self-trust.
xo Courtney
